THE BLACKSMITH OF ALBION.
Thinking BIG in Yapeen. Here's a recipe for serious Plonkos. Take the nose cone of a Collins Class Submarine, invert it, weld it to a 20 foot length of massive steam pipe attached to a huge steel disc. Decorate same with entwined vines, leaves,giant grapes and behold - a humungous wine goblet.
Fill it with 500 gallons of rough red,invite 30 nubile wenches and a bevy of bollocky blokes and dive in for a monster overproof spa
Not a problem for the blacksmith he's knocked up a couple already for some orgiastically inclined clients.
What about a pair of 3 storey wrought iron gates, a merry go round, a massive water feature, a castle size portcullis or a worlds longest lunch baronial table ?
Not a bloody problem for this joker, he can rip one up for you overnight.
Up on the hill, behind the forge Andy's 90 year old dad is toiling away and about to start building his 3rd fairground organ, whilst his Mum conjures up herbal potions guaranteed to remove the warts from a toads ding.
And stuff! This blokes got real stuff! Acres of it !
A 1926 Leyland truck lurks over in the scrub, just a drop kick away is a vintage Albion, a Thorneycroft, a Foden, a Knocker Commer Bedfords and other Pommy Lost Causes. Axles in a heap, front ends scattered around~wheels and gearboxes, radiators and bonnets, cranes, hoists, presses, lathes - ALL BIG ! Nothing gets done by halves out here amongst the mine shafts. His office is an old slab gaol cell, his workshop under the gumtrees.
Then there's the BIG DREAM.
"Oo ahh, yeah, a BIIIG fucking car - REEEEAL BIIIIG !
Bigger than one of those fucking Bewgatti Royales. Bedford truck chassis, 28 litres of Gardiner Diesel power, armour plated underneath, and HUGE spoked wheels.
There's the Gardiner in the shed over there.-Holy shit ! Its bloody enormous!
"Its all here - just gotta get started."
Arthur Long .